Co-parenting can sometimes be incredibly challenging. Often the reason for this is one parent being difficult. It might be because they are frustrated about the divorce settlement or it might be their way of expressing how upset they are that you decided to end the marriage. Alternatively, they might have always been antagonistic toward you.
The following tips can help you navigate your co-parenting relationship with them.
1. Remember the best interests of your children
It might seem unfair to suggest you should keep your children’s best interests in mind when your spouse seems set on making things difficult, but taking the high ground is always best. Pausing before you react to what your co-parent says and does can allow you to choose a response that benefits your children.
2. Schedule contact carefully
Maybe your ex likes to turn up late to handovers as they know it annoys you. Don’t then schedule a handover when you have somewhere important to be afterward. Instead, schedule them when your co-parent’s delays won’t bother you. For example, have them come and pick up the children on a Friday night when your only plan is to sit in and watch a movie. Or schedule the handover at a coffee shop so you can sit with a friend and your kids chatting happily until they appear.
3. Minimize contact if necessary
Sometimes the best way to avoid being upset by a co-parent or drawn into their games is to reduce contact with them. You could decide to only communicate via email or a parenting app rather than face-to-face. Or you could ask a family member to carry out handovers for you.
If you realize the spouse you are divorcing is likely to be an antagonistic co-parent, you can build measures into your parenting plan to account for it. If they continually make the plan difficult to abide by, you may need to ask the court to modify it to account for their poor behavior.
